Tangle of Deceit

Today Chantal got hold of me and started to have this conversation about Jojo, well I think it was about Jojo as she never really explained just what she wanted from me. She started asking me if Jojo had given me the order book, which he had and I had placed in her office on her desk and since she just came from her office she obviously knew I had.

Sometimes people think if you are not ancient you are obtuse and stupid cause I know she wants to find out something but she never really gets to the point. As we stand there talking she looks over to Jojo who is standing beside Jazz and as she looks up and sees me with her mother she gets this terrible look of fear on her face as if her world was suddenly crumbling. I admit I was surprised she would be so afraid, after all she has grown up in the minefield of Tony and all his affairs, so me chatting to her mother should have been something she could easily handle, then I thought she probably did not want Chantal to know about her relationship quite so soon.

I think I am surrounded by too many people who just don’t care so when I see someone who actually cares about something I consider their reactions to be weird. This was the first time in my life that I saw love was meaning something more important than having a date for a special occasion or hanging about the skate park hoping some guy will notice you. She really loves Braith and this is the proper forever love, not something to do until she is finished playing actress.

I could not imagine Tiah or Coco feeling more than a momentary pang for anyone and I knew that Royce had no feelings for me and probably never would as he did not appear to notice my existence in a room half the time. I remember Chantal walking away and I went back and stood with Jojo and Jazz, they were speaking to me but I was not paying much attention to what they said as my sudden realization about Royce was filling my mind. I suppose I should have been heartbroken and grieving over Royce but how can you mourn something you never had instead it was like waking from a dream, what on earth was I doing chasing after someone who didn’t notice that I was alive? For years I had been hoping he would smile my way and watched him date everyone around me but me, it was time to move on.

When Jojo wandered off I turned to Jazz and told her I understood although I don’t think she knew what I was talking about but I did understand that what she wanted was an entire life, not an interlude until she made the best deal. That is sort of how marriages are sorted in our social circles, the best deal is made by all concerned so families who want to unite two businesses will make it known that marrying into the other family would be considered advantageous for all. We all knew growing up that it was unlikely we would seek people much outside our world as we were not built to cope with lives that were not concerned with social status or filling the family coffers, even if you were sacrificed to do it. One or two of us might marry elsewhere but the boys were expected to enter the family businesses and the girls were expected to marry with family approval.

Mother luckily is too abstract to ever discuss my future with me and I suppose she is just waiting for me to come home with an announcement. I am amazed that she didn’t try to throw me in with freak boy but his antics probably scared even her away and he certainly is a good example of why houses have basements as he should be chained in one. Jazz must have been satisfied as she left me to go to an audition but she won’t get it as one of the waitresses told me Lynx was carrying on with the producer and is suggesting a friend of hers for the part. Lynx never misses a second; she has her meddling fingers into every production in this town and is making life hard for Jazz which makes me wonder why she doesn’t get her mother or even Osric to help her out as both of them surely could out maneuver Lynx.

Nadia came in acting all sloppy over Jojo and generally irritating me with her obvious tarty ways, surely he was not this stupid and I wondered if he couldn’t see through her or if he could and just didn’t care. Tony came skulking from out the back and Nadia glared at him and walked off to do a sound check with her new song so it looked like Tony has been up to no good again and Nadia caught him at it. This town is just a tangle of manipulations and counter manipulations until everyone is tied up in weave of deceit and intrigue. I told this to Jojo who decided I was having a breakdown and offered to drive me to the loony bin so I scowl at him until lunch started and guess who decides to wander in—none other than creepy Gervais and his evil tart of a cousin, Elyce. I nudged Jojo and showed him the Dubois table then told him not to bother as the loony bin appears to be letting them back out. He laughed at me until I told him to keep his monkey boy antics to himself as usual that made him miffed at me so he flirted shamelessly with Elyce leaving Gervais to seek me out for conversation. I swear he is just digging his own grave, that freak boy.

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