Start->Chapter 1->Episode 31 To Gervais
Conversing, the New Insanity
8:30am before work
I enter the breakfast room.
Mother beams.
Mother: Darling tonight I thought we might go to Sedero’s for a nice family dinner.
Me: Mother I work at Sedero’s and I would rather chop my hand off than go there for dinner.
Mother: But darling you usually adore going to Sedero’s for dinner.
Me: No Mother, Sedero’s is the only place you take me to dinner.
Mother (all miffed) Well I thought you liked our family time.
Me: I would adore some family time let’s go to dinner anywhere than Sedero’s.
Mother: I have told Chantal we would be there tonight, she is expecting us.
Me: Then you turn up and I will stay home
Mother: Really Lucinda, you have become quite rude since you started working.
Me: I blame the bad influence of Sedero’s. Mostly Jojo Sedero and his poor taste in clothes.
10:00 am Sedero’s
Jojo: Did you see Jazz today?
Me: No, I don’t think she has come in today.
Jojo: Have you seen Mother?
Me: No I haven’t seen her come in either.
Jojo: Have you seen Nadia?Me: I am not interested in your social life, find her yourself.
Jojo: Are you jealous? Cause you sound jealous, is it because Nadia is beautiful and talented and can turn the heads of men?
Me: Not at all I just think Elyce is a far better match for you.
Jojo: Elyce? Why is that?
Me: Well she is a social freak and you are a social freak, she is evil, you are insane. You could marry and have little monkettes.
Jojo: (sarcastic) Ha-Ha! Such wit leaves me lying on the floor.
Me: Oh don’t get up on my account.
Jojo: Getting cramps are we? (how he refers to a girls period. Like all men he is convinced if we disagree with him we are suffering pms).
Me: Yes a huge one in my head, must be caused by this conversation.
JoJo: It’s ok if you are jealous I know you look up to, respect and stand in awe of me.
(sound of phone book falling on Jojo’s head)
JoJo: Arggggggggggggggggggggggg
Jojo: You did that on purpose!
Me: No, the book was just jealous of your magnificence.
5:30pm At Djini Café with Tiah and Coco
Tiah: We have to break up Braith and Jazz. Help me think of a way to do it.
Coco: We could get someone to sleep with Jazz.
Tiah: Yes! Lets do that and make sure Braith finds out. It should be something shocking like a lesbian affair. Coco you sleep with Jazz.
Coco: (embarrassed) Err arrr errrr
Me: She would rather sleep with Braith.
Tiah: (sprackled) I think not! We want to break them up not get Braith to look bad. Jazz has to be the bad one. You sleep with Jazz.
Me: I got enough troubles with freakboy, you sleep with her. If you can get her into bed.
Tiah: Are you saying I can’t get a woman into bed.
Me: Not if she doesn’t want to sleep with you.
Tiah: I can get anyone into bed. After all I AM a Vanderhaven.
Me: And she IS a Sedero. You seem to forget that they have just as much clout in Bishop Vale as you do.
Tiah: My, my how the worm has turned. Since working for Sedero’s you certainly have changed your tune. Are you our friend anymore at all?
Me: Don’t be ridiculous Tiah I am just stating the obvious; you can’t force a person to sleep with you.
Tiah: Then we shall get Coco to do it.
Coco: Errr ahhhh arrr errr.
Me: Look, they are in love and you won’t get them to sleep with anyone.
Tiah: How do you know so much about them?
Coco: She works there so Jazz probably says stuff.
Tiah looks at me with suspicion.
Tiah: Just how much to do you talk to Jazz.
Me: (exasperated) I have talked to her twice the entire time I have been there and I am not so sure I want to talk to you right now either.
Gervais creeps in with Caspar Royale and Tiah nudges Coco and I to stare at Caspar. I notice Gervais looking at me and wave him over.
Me: Why don’t you join us for coffee?
Gervais (all creepy) Why, that would be a delight. Caspar we have been invited to enjoy the company of these lovely ladies.
As soon as Gervais and Caspar sit down I get up.
Me: Well I must be going, Mother is waiting. Ta ta.
Tiah gives me a look of total look of hate at being left alone with Gervais. Coco looks panicked. Gevais smiles as if he and I are sharing a secret.
I leave quickly.
8:00pm My house.
Mother: Are you ready for dinner dear?
Me: Where are you going?
Mother: (in that patient voice mothers use to make you two years old again) I told you this morning dear that we were invited to Sedero’s for dinner.
Me: I thought this was to be a family dinner?
Mother: That is right, our usual family dinner at Sedero’s.
Me: I have already said that I am not going back there for dinner. I WORK THERE.
Mother: (huffy) No need to shout dear. I see you do not want family time.
She takes off her wrap and sits in the drawing room fiddling with a cushion. I ignore her and start to read a magazine. She sighs and fiddles some more. I glare at her. She starts rubbing her knees.
Me: What’s wrong with your knees?
Mother: Nothing dear. I am just feeling the weather a bit. I am not as young as I used to be.
I roll my eyes.
Mother sighs.
I stand up.
Me: Ok but don’t ask me again.
Mother beams.
