The awful truth--according to Mother

Just as Chantal was leaving last night, she invited Mother down to her restaurant for dinner, which means that I am dragged along as well, to be bored until I wanted to break something. Usually Chantal will sit with us and gossip with Mother while I am left watching her idiot son Jojo pull faces at me. Now take Jojo, christened Joseph, Sedero as an example of a guy gone horribly wrong even though he is pretty hot to look at if you just saw a picture of him, if you can get a picture of him where he is not wearing those stupid clothes of his. I swear he must go to every army disposal store in the world and buy uniforms from every single military group ever and then to make it worse he mixes them all up and wears it to work!

It gets even sicker, don't ask me how he does it, but he gets all these medals and badges from places and sticks them all over himself like the freak he is. I feel a bit sorry for Jazz as she has to put up with being seen in public with her strange brother but still it's probably better than being sister to Gervais, yuk. Jazz once told me that Jojo does this to piss off his father who wants him to work running all the restaurants but Jojo wants to start some sort of extreme shop with Royce. I cannot imagine a worse business partner than Jojo with his stupid fashion sense and it makes me feel sorry for poor Royce because his best friend is demented.

Anyway while we are sitting having dinner when guess who walks in all full of herself, none other than the porn lady Bianca Sangu! She swans over while gushing at Mother, oh this and oh that, leaving me bored as and trying not to show it when idiot Jojo starts making faces at me from behind the bar. God-- my life is so full of misfits and weird freaks, so I here I am trying to ignore Jojo and pretending to be interested in Bianca as she raves on about some charity thingy until someone calls her away.

Then Mother gets all sprackled and tells me not to encourage 'that woman' so I ask her why, after all when she outsmarted everyone and managed to buy a house Southside you laughed for days which makes mother sprackle more and say she is not our sort of people. Well anyone can tell that, for one she wears her jewels out to dinner and more than one stone at once! Mother always said mixing your gemstones is really déclassé and pearls should not be mixed with gold necklaces.

But I decided to play dumb and ask Mother why she doesn't like Bianca and Mother leans over to whisper, “Her husband does something of a pornographic nature." I had to stuff a bread roll in my mouth to stop laughing! Pornographic, oh God, she must think I sit all day playing with Barbie dolls or whatever because everyone knows that Bianca's husband runs a huge chain of sex shops and made trillions. No one ever sees him much but Bianca is all over town with her chequebook open ready to buy entry into everything. So now I know the ‘awful truth about Bianca’ so I guess I will just have to live with it.

Previous Next