Riding the Rapids

Last night was the night all my nightmares came true as that is the only way to describe turning a pleasant night into an big sprackly ickfest. I went to Zebub with Tiah and Coco to forget about my awful life for a while and who comes smarming in but none other than Gervais Dubois and he didn’t even have that hot Caspar Royale with him. He just swished in like some king or something and sat down at our table as if we had arranged for him to meet us there, major errrk! He is old, I mean god, and he must be nearly thirty like he left school before Braith even and Braith has been to university and everything. Anyway Tiah was sprackling about Royce taking Elyce Dubois to dinner and had to finally shut up about it and Coco who does not live on planet earth at all sat there being all friendly and polite to him. I swear he knew about Elyce and Royce and how we hated it because he was sitting there like a cat that just ate someone’s budgie, all smiling and full of secrets.

Gervais sort of bubbles with malice and secrets as you can feel them oozing out of his pores and to add to this he decided to creep me out even more by squishing me in the booth so I couldn’t move while he kept rubbing his leg on me. Of course it was a tight fit with all of us there so he could probably claim it was just close but I know he was being all disgusting all over me which made me want to hit him with something but instead I kept giving him evil looks which made him act worse. He started telling Coco all these things that were making her laugh, the silly cow for somehow he seems to know everyone’s secrets and tells them in this quiet gossipy voice that makes it all appear light hearted but in reality he is saying really cruel things about people. It’s like Gervais has pieces missing from himself no that’s wrong, the entire Dubois family is born with various parts of their brains missing as what else could explain how all of them are so weird and devoid of any proper relationships, except Ladonna who married into their weirdness.

So after half an hour of being squashed and rubbed on by Gervais who decides to turn up but Elyce dragging Royce behind her, looking even more smug than Gervais and poor Royce looks as if he had been tortured for hours. He was dressed in something resembling a suit and I don’t recall him even wearing socks much before. He saw us sitting there and made a beeline for Tiah who was practically fizzing with wrath and she gave Elyce a look that would kill, only poor Tiah is a lightweight compared to a Dubois. She didn’t even register with Elyce who barely glanced at us and then spoke only to Gervais as if the rest of us did not exist.

Royce saw me edging away from Gervais then suddenly asked me to dance which was weird because unless he is at one of his mother’s thingies he doesn’t tend to dance. He might shuffle about with one of the old boods his mother points him at but other than that he avoids anything socially entertaining. Happy to get away from Gervais I get up and have to practically sit on him to get out of the booth, something he probably enjoyed far too much and then disappeared into the dance fog with Royce. I know I had given up any hope of Royce and I being anything but I was really grateful he got me out of there and was about to say something when he turned and thanked me for rescuing him from Elyce!

I asked him what happened and he said Elyce had cornered him at the skate carnival and in her Dubois manner she made it impossible for him to refuse taking her to dinner, I knew what he meant as I had enough of Gervais to work out how they can turn you into knots. He knew she was not going to leave him alone so he was hiding out for as long as he could then I told him I was hiding out from Gervais who seemed to be following me about ever since I worked for his sister. Before I knew it I was telling him about Gervais eating at work every day, then being at Djini’s when I finished work and now here without realising it I started to shiver and said that Gervais was starting to get to me.

Instead of being nice or supportive or even caring, Royce smiled and I sprackled it’s not like I didn’t have enough stress from being rubbed on and here he was thinking it was funny! So I told him to forget it he could spend the rest of the night with Elyce, his smile vanished, he grabbed my arm and said he was smiling not cause I was upset but because here I was being haunted by Gervais and all I had to was tell Jojo about it. I wondered if he’d been licking his surf wax or something so I asked him, why tell Jojo at all as he doesn’t care but Royce shook his head and told me to tell him cause I might be surprised.

I saw Gervais looking over the crowd trying to find us and said to Royce that what Jojo thought is not important as we needed to escape the Dubois family right now. As soon as the song ended the DJ got everyone fizzed and while they were leaping about we quietly left the club. Royce drove me home and I felt sorry for him because there was going to be hell to pay for him abandoning Elyce at the club so I told him to think up something good like he got sick and spewed all over the place. His face all closed up and he turned to me and said it didn’t really matter about Elyce as he was going nowhere in his life. I wanted to ask him what was wrong but being a guy he just shut up again and drove off. It appears even meatnuts have lives as loopy as the rest of us.

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