Charityati

Having slept off my headache I got up at the crack of dawn as we had to finish setting up for the function. I went downstairs to find Mother acting even more peculiar than usual and I watched her sit there smiling to herself and asking me if I was looking forward to the luncheon. I gave her coffee and a close glare wondering if she had started on the gin earlier than usual. I know she was looking forward to it as she was good friends with Chantal and would be sitting at a choice table with her but not so close as to be next to Bianca, as much as the ladies wanted to be centre stage they did not care to be too closely associated with the sex shop queen of Bishop Vale.

I was not looking forward to a day of seating five hundred million rich old boods who would complain about everything in sight and I really wanted to be anywhere but here. Mother decided she was going to ask a million questions about working with Jojo—which made me sprackle as she knew damn well what I think about working with Jojo, in fact I think the entire universe knows how I feel about freak boy and his idiot faces. So instead I told her not to give my private phone number out to men anymore which made her bat her eyes in some spazo insane way til I was ready to shout at her. It was then I see my keys on the table and she told me Jojo had come back and dropped my car off last night so I could get to work ok which has her go into another round of “Oh what a lovely boy”, so I gave her another evil glare and reminded her this was Jojo Sedero she was fizzing over.

I left her with smiling weirdly and drove to work thinking I will kill Jojo if he pulls his disappearing act today I swear I will quit on the spot as I was not going to deal with the charityati on my own! These ladies do the charity circuit not for an outing but for a career and they go to lunches or dinners not to come to the aid of people but to show off their latest jewels, gowns, toy boys, whatever they have to flaunt. They pay lots of money for dinners they cannot eat because they are on weird water or apple diets and sit there busily ripping apart everyone else’s hair, clothes, lack of money, excess of money, whatever the gossip is at that moment. Then they go home at the end of the day feeling all righteous and glowing inside like they had a surfeit of noblesse oblige---the word I learned from Mother.

I got to work to find everyone sprackling and fizzing and generally being driven crazy by Bianca, Chantal and Cameo. Everything was set up wrong or messy or taking too long. I saw Jojo there trying to set up the drinks and putting tons of water on ice as the ladies tended to drink only bottled water of the purest sort and only looked at food of the most gourmet quality. Chantal shoved a seating plan at me and told me to start placing cards so before I could utter a single threat to Jojo I was wandering about tables putting down cards.

The trouble with a town like Bishop Vale is that if you want any social function to succeed you have to be ultra careful which old bood you sit beside which old bood. One might be mortal enemies of another because of a social slight or one might have had an affair with another’s husband or one might only be friends with whomever is the most popular that week so all the petty jealousies, feuds and idiocies had to be observed before you could something as simple as seat people at the same table. Finally I got a minute to myself and wandered over to thank Jojo for bringing my car back. Being the rude ape boy that he is he didn’t even bother to even look up at me and instead asked if I had been bothered but I had no idea what he was raving on about so I said no and went back to work.

For one beautiful moment after everything had been set up, ever petal on every flower perfect, every drink chilled, every place card in its rightful place, everyone was still and quiet, we opened the doors for function was official now and we all stood in our places ready to leap into action. Bianca and Chantal stood in the foyer like gracious queens to greet everyone and how like Chantal to insert herself into everything that’s happening while Cameo was left to run about hissing at staff for doing stuff wrong. Jojo started stewards running about serving people water or bubbly while I was to show the old boods where the toilets, their seats or whatever they wanted. I was so busy trying to get everyone where they are supposed to be that I did not notice Gervais creep up behind me then as the hairs on the back of my neck start to crawl I turned around and felt my heart leap and fizz. I really did not expect him to be here as his sister’s friendship with Taryn would keep Liselle away so I thought it would keep him away too and that was a stupid assumption to make. He gave me his usually freaky smile and started smarming all over me but since I was busy trying to seat hordes of boods I felt secure in brushing him off but he would not leave instead like some sticky nightmare he stood beside me for ages.

Finally Jojo noticed and pointed to the table reserved for the Dubois family but Gervais was not moving and we stood there in this weird circle while the guys glared at each other. Gervais decides at that moment to ask in his oily slithery voice if he could escort me to the Vanderhaven’s Opener that night and I could actually feel my heart cringe. I wanted something horrible to drop from the sky and eat him up so I would not have to reject a Dubois but rescue can come from the oddest of places and Jojo suddenly intervenes. I guess he must hate Gervais as much as I do because he told Gervais that I had agreed to go with him although it was obvious that Gervais did not believe him cause although the Sedero’s would have been invited I don’t think any of them ever turn up. I mean I know Jojo had been there with Royce but the guys don’t hang about the house too much.

The MC guy started raving on about how wonderful they all were and Gervais was forced to go sit at his table with his aunt in law Ladonna, an ex stripper who thoroughly enjoyed upsetting the boods on the charity circuit by turning up in garish diamonds and ugly dresses. Gervais spent the luncheon glaring at Jojo who looked oddly pleased with himself. In gratitude I told Jojo that he didn’t have to take me to the Opener but he insisted. I know he is only doing it to annoy Gervais and that didn’t bother me one bit.

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