Lies of a Broken Heart

Jojo chased me all day today at work as I managed not to answer any phones or appeared to be speaking on one phone when he rang on another. Caspar gave me a knowing look as I learned this technique from him when he was avoiding the ladies in his life. At the end of the day I scouted outside, fearing Jojo would be laying in wait for me, before running to my car.. I knew it was only a matter of time before he tracked me down and he was going to get an answer from me regardless of whatever I tried to distract him with. I could not go find him for as long as I did not he was still mine and there was still hope that the heavens would open and send me a way to fight the demon called Gervais.

The minute Jojo finds me it would be the last time I would have him in my life, so I held onto doing nothing for as long as I could for once gone I would be alone to fend off Gervais Dubois. I drove around town aimlessly too scared to go home, too scared to stop anywhere for a coffee, too scared to a future without Jojo in it. Finally exhausted I drove up to the last place I had been with Jojo the lookout, the place where he had given me an ultimatum.

Being late in the day the place was littered with teen lovers looking for a place to get away from the prying eyes of family and friends. Forlorn, I sat and watched the lights of Bishop Vale twinkle in the distance thinking that from up here it all looked so welcoming. It was a different story when you were actually in the town itself with all the gossip and back stabbing and whoring, such a lovely town I live in. I sat until I was numb from exhaustion and then drove slowly home and I knew I should have turned my phone back on, I knew that I should have sought him out and said something to him. He would think I didn’t want him and probably wouldn’t understand that my silence was my way of keeping him, of having him for just one more day.

No matter what I said he was going to be angry and want explanations, explanations I could not answer and I was not about to hand him over to Gervais. He was no match for him, I was no match for him, in fact I could not recall a single person who was a match for him as Gervais had been doing this since birth and was a master of controlling the environment around him. Jojo and I were fodder for his amusement until he wearied of our misery and moved onto greener pastures. There was no getting around it I was going to have to lie, to let him think I did not want him, let him see a brainless fool. Only one thing cheered me up and that was that our deal only was no Jojo, there was nothing in it about me having to ever speak to Gervais.

I am not stupid as I knew that was probably the underlying motivation of his to start this entire game but I had underestimated how seriously Gervais took it. I thought he just wanted to jerk me about for amusement and cause me some grief for being cheeky to him when I worked for his sister however Gervais showed me a side of himself—a cold passion that sent a shudder down to my soul. It did not take a genius to work out he wanted more than a few mind games sitting in a café.

I was going to ask Caspar about that at work tomorrow and I don’t care if he is afraid of Gervais he is going to tell me exactly just what Gervais has in mind for me as it would be the only way I can survive him. I thought up a few lies to tell Jojo, one that I was involved with someone else but he would never believe that or maybe that Mother was ill however she had just eaten a hearty dinner at Sedero’s last night so that wouldn’t do. In the end I thought it was best to be like Gervais, I was going to be cold and disinterested and act as if I didn’t care about him at all. It was good that I had planned this in my mind because as I drove into my driveway there he was sitting his jeep waiting for me.

My heart leapt and melted and fizzed and I was both touched he had waited and miserable that he was here. I turned off the engine and sat allowing time to freeze for a few seconds, letting the moment hang in the air for now at this time he was still mine, mine to love, mine to reach for, mine to kiss, but reality fractured the dream and I got out to face the worst moment in my life.

As I got out of my car Jojo grabbed me with a big smile, kissed me and I let him for it was going to be my very last kiss so I let him kiss me and hold me and do all the things I shouldn’t allow him to do for he was not mine. Unable to stand the misery I was holding inside, I had to push him away. He was all flushed and saying he was worried he could not contact me all day and I shrugged and said so what, I was not a puppy on a leash he could jerk. Jojo frowned slightly and asked me what was up and I replied that I did not appreciate being hounded at work. He stepped back and gave me a black look as he was not one to stand games. He asked me carefully did I know he had called me several times and I replied of course I did but I could not be bothered to answer every annoying call I got.

I could see him closing up, closing off from me, he put his hands in his pockets and I could see the look of cold misery creep into his face. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me out of view so I would not have to see this face. His voice was tight and hurt and he asked didn’t I want to be with him? I snorted a cold laugh, the exact laugh Taryn would use when some lesser social being tried to gain her attention and said—and what I believed were to be my last words to him---that I had better things to do with my life than hang around some silly monkey boy. His face was a terrible sight and he turned on his heel and got back into his jeep and sped off. I was left standing alone in the dark in my driveway for I could not go inside because Mother would have wanted to know what was making me sob my heart out.

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