Over The Threshold

Simon did not come around to the house at all last night and worried he might be exacting revenge I tried his phone a few times only to discover it was out of range. I went to bed fearing the worst and after tossing and turning for hours finally woke up still exhausted. It was my first day of unemployment and my biggest dread and secret joy was hearing that Gervais had been found dead in a ditch.

I went downstairs surprised to find both Simon and mother chatting happily in the breakfast room and my heart fluttered with relief and joy at seeing him. It was the first time the sight of him had brought out a reaction in me and it felt good to have butterflies from being near him. I was struck by how he could speak to anyone as he was always relaxed and interested in what people had to say. I was happy to see him but also worried as he had not contacted me since yesterday morning and I hoped he had not done anything silly. After I had a coffee he said we should enjoy the good weather by going for a drive and we left in his car.

Simon took me down to the lake where people were walking their dogs or having picnics with their kids and we sat staring at the calm blue water. I laid my head back on the seat and waited for the questions I knew he was going to ask as Simon always did everything carefully and never blundered like Jojo or ravaged like Gervais. He kept his eyes on the lake as he asked me what had happened with Gervais and even though I did not want to, I had enough of deception so I decided to tell him the entire truth. I was not going to get into another mess like Jojo, Simon might be my chance only chance to find someone in my life that I could relate to in an intimate way. Even though I had decided to reveal all instead I started by telling Simon I was afraid to tell him and his hands went white as he gripped the steering wheel.

I made him promise he would just listen and not do anything silly, in fact he was not to do anything at all as I could not bear anymore stress right now. I watched him have a small internal battle before he reluctantly agreed and when I was satisfied I recounted the entire incident while watching his face harden with every word. He looked at me his face carved from stone and the sight of my fear made his entire body relax as he reached for me and held me close. I told him that I’d lost everything so far and I would like not to lose him, words he must have wanted to hear for he held me close and for the first time he kissed me with passion. It was the right kiss at the right time as I felt my entire body respond to his lips I knew I wanted this and I told him to take me back to his place. He asked me if this is what I really wanted and I said yes, for once I knew exactly what I wanted.

As we drove to his apartment I wondered if what I was feeling was the love people felt in a healthy relationship, not the schoolgirl crush like that one I had for Royce that made you giggle or the wild passionate ache I had for Jojo, but the appreciation of another person and a terrible dread of their absence in your life. I watched his profile as he drove, his handsome face serious with concentration I was filled with admiration for him as I loved his company, everything felt right with him as he gave me peace and for the first time in a long time I was happy.

Once inside he took me in his arms kissing me with a confidence, undressing me with skill, his kisses growing in passion between each one it seemed to be only a manner of seconds that he had me undressed and in his bed. Seeing how shy I was he kissed each one of my bruises and told me that he had fallen in love me, between my scowls and shouting at Gervais, he loved my spirit, my sweetness and called me impossibly adorable. He stopped kissing me long enough to ask me again if I was sure I wanted this and I knew of all the bad mistakes I had made in my life this would never be one of them as this was where I wanted to be, with him and no one else. He smiled at my passionate reply and kissed me until I melted into him. He was tender and passionate and having him make love to me was everything I had dreamed love would be and I fell asleep in his arms, the deep relaxed sleep of someone who found where they needed to be.

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