Brave New World

It must have really annoyed Gervais that I had not contacted him over the Royce engagement, he must have sat in his chair waiting for my hysteria and me to call him and beg for his indulgence but if he was expecting that to happen he would be waiting forever. In fact when my total lack of concern over his wishes must have finally sunk in he did something he had not done before, he called me to discover my reaction. At first I didn’t know who it was as he sounded younger, almost pleasant on the phone, perhaps this is how he fools people in his business by changing who he was so they could not detect his evil smarmy ways.

His voice was different during this call, it was smooth and pleasant which confused me for I could not identify who it was and trying not to sound as if I didn’t know who was on the other end I was very polite. Usually I can tell who has called by their numbers but people like Tiah upgrade their phones so much and change their numbers on a whim that I was used to unlisted numbers ringing. I sat there for a few minutes wracking my brains, trying to place this urbane voice who was asking me how I was in a very pleasant tone. When his voice trickled into the subject of Royce and Elyce’s engagement the penny dropped and I realised it was Gervais in all his creepy glory trying to get me to react, like he needed my outrage for some obscure emotional fix.

Keeping my voice neutral I told him that I wished them every happiness in life, looked forward to their wedding and this is where when he dropped all pretence, saying they were unlikely to be happy as Royce obviously was not as enamored of Elyce as she was of the idea of being married. I said that Royce required a firm hand and Elyce was probably just the girl for him which made Gervais reply if one could stay wide of her vicious streak and her moods he might have a chance but I knew he was just goading me into trying to defend Royce and I was having none of it.

Gervais was not in control of me, not any longer as I had no interest in pursuing anything with Jojo, Royce was going to have to make his own life sooner or later and he didn’t seem to know Simon so there was no way for him to touch me. Gervais however had different ideas as his voice became cold and here was the man that I knew, the one who would pin you against a wall and hiss whore into your ear. He told me that I could stop it anytime I liked all I had to do was leave Simon causing me to laugh sharply and I told him that was never going to happen, I was staying with Simon and that was that. He did not get angry, instead he laughed a genuine, amused laugh and said I had no idea who Simon was and maybe someone should show me. I told him to keep his stupid idle threats to himself and hung up the phone as I was not about to set Gervais onto Simon.

I know Simon had not only worked with Caspar but also gone to university at the same time as he and Gervais him so the would probably know of his past and if he probably had been a bit of a whore like Caspar I didn’t want to hear a list of his old girlfriends. This was the past and I didn’t want it back in our present so if Simon had lots of women before me, I did not care as he was acting totally happy with me and that was enough. The call from Gervais did do one thing for me, it made me decide that it was time to stop messing about and to really move in with Simon and start a proper life.

When I talked to Mother about it she wanted me to wait a bit longer saying that I had plenty of time to work out what I wanted but I thought that was just her not wanting me to leave. I knew that it was time for me to make a new life for myself and start leaving my own past behind so after work I could not wait to get to Simon’s and as soon as I was there I started marking apartments off in the paper. Simon came back, saw what I was doing and broke into a big smile before admitting my balking had him afraid that I had changed my mind but I told him not to be silly this was just all very new to me. We spent the night cuddling, making plans and he never looked happier in his life. I realised that that feelings I had left for Jojo was from a life that was no longer mine and I felt like a fraud as I sat there with Simon’s arms around me feeling depressed about closing the door on Jojo for if I had it to do again I would have made so many different choices.

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