A Fresh Start

I stayed in bed today as long as possible as I knew it was the calm before the storm for tomorrow Mother is going to be buried and Chantal has arranged to cater the wake. All these people I didn’t know started ringing all day and I spent hours telling them where to go. I found it hard to say cemetery or funeral home so I just kept saying she was at Woodbridges as everyone pretty much knew what that was. Jazz called me and apologised for not being over and asked if I wanted her to come. I asked her if she was back together with Braith and she said they were working things out so I told her to keep doing that as it was nicer than sitting around here moping. I could tell she felt bad as she then insisted on coming but I told her there was no point, nothing would make me feel better and I would rather think of her being where she belonged and that was with Braith.

Maritka was still at the house as she had quarters out the back which was fine with me as I didn’t want to be alone in the house as it was huge enough without it being empty. She kept trying to feed me and was a little miffed when I told her that Chantal was arranging the catering until I told her that I expected her to be a guest and not serving people as she was Mother’s friend. For the first time since it happened I saw Maritka overcome with emotion and she wiped the corner of her eyes leaving the room without her usual barrage of incoherent muttering. I sat on the terrace with the phone and resigned myself to answering questions from people that I had no idea who they were. Chantal said we didn’t have time to put a notice in the paper so this was the best way to tell all the boods when to come. I never realised Mother knew so many people or that so many had liked her as she was just Mother, a fluffy boo who lived in her own little world to me.

The doorbell rang and I froze in my chair afraid it might be Gervais and when Maritka came out of the kitchen to answer it I told her if it was Gervais not to let him in, no matter what he said. Her eyes gleamed at the thought of confrontation and she told me not to worry as she would take care of it all but luckily it was not Gervais but Tiah and Coco who had finally got disentangled enough from their own lives to come visit me. I was not in the mood to listen to them complain about anything so I kept them in the foyer until I could work out what they wanted. Tiah thinking I did not know the latest gossip said Braith was with Jazz again and that she was glad which was such a turnaround for her that I dropped my guard and took them onto the terrace with me.

Tiah said she was so glad Braith was out of Nadia’s clutches that she didn’t care about him being with Jazz anymore for at least she was sane. She had been hiding out at Coco’s while Taryn was planning the divorce of the century and Jago had been seen publicly everywhere in town with Liselle. She said she understood how I felt as she no longer had any family either and I wanted to remind her that parents divorcing was not the same as dead parents but in a way I understood that she was also feeling a loss. I was surprised at how she was acting, she was usually full of bitter recriminations when her family got in her way but this time she was more like a lost little girl.

Coco was also full of news telling us that Royce and she had been speaking about eloping to escape the mad plans of his and the Dubois family. I expected Tiah to sprackle over this idiotic plan but she apparently suggested it, she said that Taryn was so busying causing Jago grief that she wouldn’t notice if Royce ran off with Coco. Tiah added that she would die if she wound up related to Gervais twice by marriage, meaning of course Jago and Royce. I told Coco that she had best plan it well if she was going to outwit Elyce and Gervais Dubois but she seemed to think they had it all in hand. They both surprised me by asking when the funeral was as I did not expect them to come and this show of support was comforting. I told them that I appreciated them making the effort and they looked pleased that I noticed and even though they were not the brainiest of friends, they were here and that was the important thing.

The doorbell rang again and I froze praying it was not Gervais because Tiah and Coco were not exactly help when he was around. I heard Maritka’s voice fussing and I thought it might have been Simon as she usually only fussed over people she liked. I went out to the foyer to see who was getting all this attention and discovered Jojo getting a briefing from my overprotective Russian housekeeper. Jojo gave me an anxious look half expecting me to throw him out and started to come forward when he saw Tiah and Coco on the terrace.

I took him into Mother’s sitting room for I was not going to make his reentry in to my life as easy as a passionate kiss and I asked him what he wanted as things were very hectic today. He replied that he wanted to be with me, to help me with everything, to comfort me at this time. I found my heart full of so many contradictions for I wanted to throw myself in his arms and ask him to take the endless misery of pain from my heart. I wanted to kiss him and feel him holding me to feel that I was still alive and not totally numb to the world. I wanted to slap him for not being there for me before when Gervais attacked me and being so arrogant afterwards.

I told him that I was too full of mixed emotions for him to be here at this time and he gave me a look that melted my heart, for Jojo could always melt my heart. He asked if I had changed my mind and didn’t want him back in my life and I knew that I couldn’t keep sending him away because one day he would not come back so I told him I wanted him to stay but I was still angry over what he did to me in the bathroom, the way he left me in that state. He said he wouldn’t have behaved like that but Gervais had told him a few days earlier that I had been sleeping with Simon on the side the entire time we had been together.

I could have smacked him for believing this and I told him so-- my voice high with despair. Jojo could see I was becoming distraught, wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly until I calmed down. He whispered he was filled with such a jealous rage when Gervais had told him this that he wanted me to hurt the way he was hurting. He kissed my hair and told me he wanted us to start fresh, with no one else between us. I don’t know what I said to him but it calmed him and we were still standing there when Coco and Tiah wandered in looking for me. They nudged each other and said goodbye leaving me with a contrite Jojo who could not stop kissing me.

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