Tea, Sympathy and Thoughts of Murder

The phone started ringing before I had even got out of bed as the town was brimming with gossip. Tony and Astrid were back on and Zizi was not amused and somehow she invited herself over for lunch. It was hard for her to go out now her song was all over the charts. Mostly she had been traveling around promoting it but she told Osric enough was enough as she had to come home for a rest. Jojo was not around to check plans with as he had already left to meet Royce and get some paperwork so we could save their business. As soon as I had hung up on Zizi, Tiah called to say she could not stay in her house as Gervais was practically living there and she also invited herself over for lunch before I could tell her that Zizi was going to be here she hung up. Coco called me a minute later and said with Royce gone she thought she would keep me company so I thought what the hell everyone else was going to be here might as well have a party so I picked up the phone and called Jazz to make the circle complete.

I told Maritka everyone was going to come over for lunch and she did her usual grumble before pushing me out of the kitchen so she could do her stuff. I told her to write a list and I would go the market for her and I wanted to go as this was the first normal thing I had done since Mother’s death. I had been so busy with funeral, lawyers, wills and keeping Chantal from smothering me and being with Jojo, that I had not done anything normal for days. I got into my car and before driving to town I cringed when I caught myself doing my instinctive check to see if Gervais was about for he had managed to get into my head in an icky way.

Once in the supermarket I just wanted out as fast as I could get as there were too many screaming kids, distracted mothers wandering about while killer grannies were knocking me over at each aisle. I wanted some nutmeg which they had placed on the very top shelf and I was reaching up trying to get it when an arm came from behind me, grabbed it and handed it down to me and I turned to thank the tall arm when I came face to face with Simon. He stood there looking so utterly beautiful and so devastatingly sad I didn’t know what to say as there were no words to explain to him that even without his past Jojo was always going to be between us.

He smiled and asked how I was doing as I told him I was trying to survive I watched him mention in a most casual way that he saw Jojo’s car at the house a lot and I knew he was asking, wanting me to say it aloud. I looked at this huge mountain of a man who rescued me so many times and whose only crime was to hide his shame of a past mistake. I had wanted to love him and even without Jojo, the shadow of Gervais lingered over us, bitter and isolating. I could not look Simon in the face and keep hurting him so I said “Don’t.” and he understood exactly what I meant and as I watched walk away I realised he had taken a piece of my heart with him.

I went home and helped Maritka in the kitchen glad for the distraction of cooking, not knowing how to deal with the pain of regret. The girls arrived and for a few seconds Zizi and Tiah were awkward until I told them to stop it as everyone’s parents had gone mad so there was no point in us paying the price of their lunacy. They sat down relieved at having the issue dismissed and I guess the truce was made. Coco said in her vague wandering way that it was funny but when you look at all the stuff that was happening it seemed that Gervais was somewhere in the picture and as usual in her insane Coco way she had clarified everything perfectly. Tiah snorted and said what Gervais needed was removing which made Zizi laugh harshly in agreement while Jazz looked at the table and said it was a pity he didn’t have an accident. We all looked at her and the surprising thing was that no one was shocked. I said “A big pity, ” and we sat looking at each other if we had as group stepped from one world to another, one where everything was edged in a harsh reality and this reality was called Gervais Dubois. Maritka decided to come in at this moment with tea and the subject was changed as we spent rest of the day gossiping about the rest of the boods in town and their affairs.

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