Her Father's Daughter

We had spent the day sitting on the terrace and although I knew there were a million things Simon wanted to say to me I kept him at arms length. After Ladonna had left I called Simon in desperation for I felt as if my entire world had collapsed on top of me and I couldn’t breathe or move. Maritka came in to see me hyperventilating on the sofa and brought me a paper bag to breathe into while I waited for Simon to arrive. I knew that she knew because for the first time since she had come into my life Maritka was not scowling, she looked concerned. I found myself torn between two evils, one of being a Dubois and the fear of people knowing I was one. I was gripped in the depths of such a bleak humiliation that I could not even face Simon, the person who had held me the night before while I sobbed until worn with grief I fell asleep. I did not have to tell Maritka but I did tell Simon as the only person I could trust had a secret worse than my own.

Simon sat opposite me for the entire day, his warm face scrunched with concern and I realized how unfair it was of me to burden him with this knowledge and then shut him out because I was too ashamed to deal with my own issues. Every time I thought about that dreadful moment when Ladonna had revealed my awful past all I could see was the smirking face of Gervais, my disgusting, disturbing cousin who had tried to rape me on several nasty occasions. I could not wipe his smarmy image from my mind and I knew if I did not get someone to talk to I was going to start screaming and maybe never stop. So I called up Simon and begged him to come over right away and he was over in what seemed like seconds, his car practically blocking the front door, then his huge presence in the doorway of my bedroom.

I threw myself into his arms and sobbed my muffled truth into his chest and instead of being horrified or complacent Simon told me to get my birth certificate. I found it amongst Mother’s papers and there was the man I had grown up as my father listed as my father and it was the same certificate I had used all my life to get my driving license, my passport. Nothing had changed until I started searching through all those little mementos of my life, every scrap of paper Mother had kept of me. Finally I found a few old pictures of Axel and her in happier days and then an old letter from Axel to my mother, demanding that she marry him so he could be a father to his child.

With my very worst fears confirmed I collapsed into his arms again and Simon carried me to my bed and held me there until morning. I was unable to reconcile my life with the monstrous family I was now aligned with. My biggest fear was not in having to deal with Liselle or Ladonna but what Gervais would do once he found out we were related. I knew he would use this to his advantage in some way and no matter where I went or what I did I would never be rid of Gervais Dubois as he would be an evil nemesis that would haunt me forever. Then I remembered Elyce, the next generation vixen and realised she was my cousin which had me shudder in revulsion while praying that the entire family would leave me alone but that doesn’t happen in the Dubois world, in that world you get sucked up into their compound never to escape. I tried to bury myself further into Simon’s arms as if to flee my very skin.

When we woke up I distanced myself from Simon as I could not meet his eyes and when he tried to bring it up I shied away from any discussion of the Dubois. It was not that I didn’t want him to be there, I wanted to wrap myself up in his warm, welcoming arms and forget the entire town of Bishop Vale but I felt soiled by what Ladonna had told me and could not bring myself to look at him for fear of contempt or pity. Maritka did not fuss for once instead she brought us tea and lunch and only nodded to Simon who nodded back. They had their understanding whatever it was and I was just grateful it was quiet and unobtrusive.

It was with the usual malevolent kismet that the phone rang the second Simon had left and I stared at the ringing receiver knowing it could only be one person with this timing, I picked it up and said “Gervais” before he could take a breath. I think he liked that I knew it was him ringing as if we had some sort of psychic link but I knew it was more like he was the vulture comes to pick at the carcass before the moment of death. His oily voice seeped into my mind as he rambled on about trivia in his typical Dubois way.

This family never quite understood how to get to the point, but the purpose of their rambling was probably to torture their listener until they came in for the kill. Gervais inevitably came in for his. He paused for a second and I knew what he was going to say next for we had dueled long enough for me to know his moves and he continued urbanely that Ladonna had paid him a very nice visit, this was a lie from the start as I knew she would have only told him under duress. One does not tell Gervais anything—he extorts it from you—in his suave voice whose soft tones smoothed the rough edges of his threats.

Gervais welcomed me to the family with a malicious glee that chilled my soul and said he could not be more pleased. I bet he was for this gives him the excuse to haunt me to death. He continued that this would explain why he felt so close to me, he pretended not to hear my contemptuous choking adding how this was cause for celebration and suggested a little soiree to welcome me to the family. In a flash of pure hate I told him over my dead body and he could rot in hell before I would ever step foot inside the Dubois compound again. Gervais did what he always did when faced with my hatred, he laughed saying one never knew what the future might bring and I hung up on him in mid sentence as this appeared to be my usual form of communication with Gervais although it never appeared to make any impact upon him.

After I got rid of Gervais I regretted sending Simon away but I knew I could not use him as a crutch for he would want far more than I was capable of giving at this time. Yet there was no way I could face Gervais and his family alone and I sat alone in the darkening room wondering just what was I to do realising, not for the first time, that I was totally on my own. Mother in her fluffy social way had managed to keep the entire Dubois family at bay and more importantly silent although I did not know what strength or what weapons she had I certainly could have used both at this time. After sitting in the dark for two hours I came to a decision, I needed help and there was only one place to get help and that was from my friends. I picked up my phone and called Zizi but before she could start a conversation I said “Remember how you said we need to stop Gervais? Well now is the time to do it.” I heard her sharp intake of breath and she said she would be right over.

Turns out I am more of a Dubois than I thought.

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